The Octopus Effect Read online

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Copyright Page

  YES, IT’S TIME FOR ANOTHER CHRONICLE . . .

  CHAPTER 1 - ALL BOOKS GREAT AND SMALL

  CHAPTER 2 - UP, UP, AND . . . UP SOME MORE

  CHAPTER 3 - “RUMBLE” REDUX (AND THEN BACK TO BUSINESS)

  CHAPTER 4 - THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE THE WOODS

  CHAPTER 5 - THE BEAR OF BAD TIDINGS

  CHAPTER 6 - SHORTEST FIELD TRIP EVER

  CHAPTER 7 - KEEPER NO MORE

  CHAPTER 8 - GIRL IN THE HOOD

  CHAPTER 9 - HOW THE COOKIES CRUMBLE

  CHAPTER 10 - WHEN TROUBLE CALLS . . .

  CHAPTER 11 - SOME DO FALL FAR FROM THE TREE . . .

  CHAPTER 12 - DIAL SIR FOR VILLAIN

  CHAPTER 13 - MISSION: REALLY HARD (SHOULD THEY CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT)

  CHAPTER 14 - X MARKS THE SPOT

  CHAPTER 15 - THE PROBLEM WITH PEBBLES

  CHAPTER 16 - BIG TROUBLE BY THE LITTLE PUDDLE

  CHAPTER 17 - SOME FISH DO NEED BICYCLES

  CHAPTER 18 - BRING ON THE BAD GUYS . . .

  CHAPTER 19 - THE LONG AND BITING ROAD

  CHAPTER 20 - NO JUMPING IN THE POOL

  CHAPTER 21 - GARDENING, BEATLES STYLE

  CHAPTER 22 - THE WAY OF THE OCTOPUS

  CHAPTER 23 - THE DNA SHUFFLE

  CHAPTER 24 - A LOT TO CHEW ON

  CHAPTER 25 - THERE’S TROUBLE—AND COFFEE—BREWING

  CHAPTER 26 - INTO THE BIG, BAD HAYSTACK

  CHAPTER 27 - OUT OF THE DRYING LAND AND INTO THE MIRE

  CHAPTER 28 - PLASMA MAKES PERFECT

  CHAPTER 29 - THE UNSINKABLE SIMON BLOOM

  CHAPTER 30 - GREAT MILEAGE IN CITY OR DESERT

  CHAPTER 31 - A CALL TO ARMS

  CHAPTER 32 - GROWING UP IS HARD TO DO

  CHAPTER 33 - THE ROAD TO YUCK

  CHAPTER 34 - ON THE RUN . . .

  AND NOW A WORD FROM MY KEEPER

  CHAPTER 35 - WHEN RAIN FORESTS ATTACK

  CHAPTER 36 - RAIN FOREST CRUNCH TIME

  CHAPTER 37 - APES AND BUGS AND B TEAMS, OH MY!

  CHAPTER 38 - THE FAILURE OF THE FISH

  WHAT THEY DID THEN

  CHAPTER 39 - ANOTHER INK COMING

  CHAPTER 40 - DEFINITELY NOT THIRTY MINUTES OR LESS

  CHAPTER 41 - IF THIS KEEPS UP, I’LL NEED A BIGGER APARTMENT

  CHAPTER 42 - SOMETIMES NOTHING IS BETTER THAN SOMETHING

  CHAPTER 43 - BRUTALITY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL

  CHAPTER 44 - THE NIGHT THEY DROVE OLD DUNKERHOOK DOWN

  CHAPTER 45 - TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE

  CHAPTER 46 - DON’T SHOOT THE MESSENGER . . . ESPECIALLY IF IT’S YOU

  CHAPTER 47 - THE MORE IMMEDIATE FUTURE

  PLANT MY FEET, INDEED

  GLOSSARY FOR THE WORLD OF THE TEACHER’S EDITIONS

  Acknowledgements

  Whether you love to read or not, whether you like science or not, and whether you’re a boy or a girl, this book is for you . . . because everybody wishes they could fly.

  This book is especially dedicated to my dear friend Alison, who believed in me even when I forgot to

  DUTTON CHILDREN’S BOOKS

  A division of Penguin Young Readers Group

  Published by the Penguin Group • Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, U.S.A. • Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.) • Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England • Penguin Ireland, 25 St Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd) • Penguin Group (Australia), 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty Ltd) • Penguin Books India Pvt Ltd, 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi - 110 017, India • Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, North Shore 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd) • Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd, 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa • Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright © 2009 by Fire-Breathing Bunnies, Inc., and Michael Reisman

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system now known or to be invented, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer who wishes to quote brief passages in connection with a review written for inclusion in a magazine, newspaper, or broadcast.

  The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.

  CIP Data is available.

  Published in the United States by Dutton Children’s Books,

  a division of Penguin Young Readers Group

  345 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014

  www.penguin.com/youngreaders

  eISBN : 978-1-101-08234-8

  http://us.penguingroup.com

  WHO’S WHO IN THE WORLD OF THE TEACHER’S EDITIONS

  THE KNOWLEDGE UNION

  It is a secret organization responsible for making sure the universe runs smoothly. Sometimes the members even succeed. Among them are:

  BOARD OF ADMINISTRATION

  Janathus Misht • Overseer of the Science Orders

  Standrus Presst • Lead Examiner and Chief Executive of the Board

  Madda Roobet • Chief Analyst of Keeper Affairs

  THE COUNCIL OF SCIENCES

  Ralfagon Wintrofline • Keeper of the Order of Physics

  Gilio Skidowsa • Keeper of the Order of Biology

  Olvero Lombaro • Keeper of the Order of Chemistry

  Allobero Foreedaman • Keeper of the Order of Astronomy

  Skyrena McSteiner • Keeper of the Math League

  Solomonder Smithodrome • Keeper of the Order of Psychology

  ORDER OF PHYSICS

  Eldonna Pombina • Assistant to Ralfagon. Don’t forget your earplugs around her.

  Simon Bloom (co-Keeper) • He’s a good person to name a book after.

  Owen Walters • He controls direction and speed, but nothing’s as fast as how he talks.

  Alysha Davis • The electricity she absorbs/discharges is almost as jolting as her attitude.

  Loisana Belane • She shifts solids, liquids, and gases; useful with melted ice cream.

  Willoughby Wanderby • He’ll spin you like a merry-go-round set to ultra-scary-fast.

  Mermon Veenie • He’s big, he’s bad, and he throws a mean bolt of lightning.

  Robertitus Charlsus • He’ll make the ground--and you--shake.

  Myarina Myashah • Get on her bad side and it’ll be worse than seven years of bad luck.

  ORDER OF BIOLOGY

  Flangelo Squicconi • It’s a bird, it’s a plane . . . no, wait, it’s a bird.

  Kender • He may look like a big bug, but it’s he that might squash you.

  Targa • She’s basically a human espresso machine that also works in reverse.

  Cassaro • He attacks with a cloud of fungus, which is just as disgusting as it sounds.

  Grawley • Sure, he’s fuzzy, but his bear hugs could really ruin your day. Or your life.

  Kushwindro • Jungles are filled with life, but he makes them try to end yours.

  Preto • Part man, part fish .
. . all bad.

  Kostaglos • Never get into a spitting contest with this venomous fellow.

  Zillafer • She may be full of hot air, but her spikes make her nastier than any balloon.

  Baharess • Trust me, her belch is worse than her bite.

  Trurya • Now you see her, now you don’t . . . see anything!

  Najolo • Alone he’s a noisy little ape; with hundreds of his friends he’s a party—a bad one.

  Demara • You’d better have more than insect repellent if she sends her swarms after you.

  Jaynu • Just because she glows doesn’t mean she’s very bright.

  Cubec • He can find you wherever you go, but that’s about all he can do.

  Branto • His control over hibernation even puts him to sleep.

  ORDER OF CHEMISTRY

  Krissantha • She can make you go to pieces. Literally.

  LaCurru • Not your usual mad scientist-type; he’s madder.

  HISTORICAL SOCIETY

  Miss Fanstrom (Keeper) • Watches over history and the present (the hair and now).

  Greygor Geryson • Narrator for Order of Physics (and this book); quite a snappy dresser.

  Sirabetta • Her colorful tattoos are as pretty as a picture--a violent, deadly picture.

  OUTSIDERS

  Everybody who’s not in the Union. Yes, that includes you. And him. And her. Not sure about that one over there, though. . . .

  YES, IT’S TIME FOR ANOTHER CHRONICLE . . .

  You know that universe you’re living in? It’s a pretty old place. Every religious group, philosopher, or scientist has a different explanation for when—and how—everything got started. But, at the very least, it’s clear the universe is no spring chicken.

  After all that time, you’d think it would have learned to take care of itself. Unfortunately, that’s not true. The universe is a messy, danger-filled place in need of constant watching after, like an infant playing around electrical outlets, a busy road, or a gang of hungry alligators. That’s one of the reasons the Knowledge Union was formed. The members use the immensely powerful Books, each one allowing access to the secrets of the universe, so they can keep reality from winking out, or everything turning purple, or whatever other catastrophe might occur.

  With the Union around, you’d think existence would be fine, right? Wrong! Accidents often happen in spite of—or even because of—their work.

  My job in the Union is Narrator—I chronicle history as it unfolds. It used to be a dull job; I rarely got to watch any fun changes or exciting mistakes. Then, five months ago, Simon Bloom entered my Chronicle and prevented a disaster.

  By finding and becoming Keeper of one of those incredible Books—the Teacher’s Edition of Physics—Simon gained control over all the laws of physics. Aided by his friends Owen and Alysha, he used the Book to stop the terrible Sirabetta from using her terrible powers in her terrible scheme to take over the universe. (Which would have been really bad.)

  Pretty impressive for an eleven-year-old. I even helped in my own way; it was a great day for Narrators everywhere!

  You’d think that would have been it. The Union should have gotten everything on track and put it all back in neat working order. Sure, Simon still had command of three physics laws, but his friends and he should have been able to return to their normal lives of friends, family, and school.

  Only five months later, however, the universe we worked so hard to save was about to get in more trouble than ever. And Simon Bloom, now twelve years old, was going to find himself in an enormous amount of danger.

  As before, it began on a Sunday. . . .

  CHAPTER 1

  ALL BOOKS GREAT AND SMALL

  It was Sunday morning in the quiet town of Lawnville, New Jersey. The time was eleven o’clock, part of that long, getting-hungry stretch between breakfast and lunch.

  Simon Bloom was spending it doing his favorite thing: reading. He’d loved it since he’d first learned how, and the ability to control a few laws of physics hadn’t changed that.

  Of course, he could enjoy his powers, too. Simon was sitting above his bed . . . eight feet above. On the ceiling. His butt was firmly planted there as he sat, cross-legged, with his head hanging down toward his bed. He had used his control over the law of gravitation, changing it on himself so he was pulled up instead of down like everything else on the planet. For Simon, the ceiling was the ground. To him, the rest of his bedroom—his bed, his desk, his bookcases, the dirty laundry he’d not quite gotten around to tossing into the hamper—appeared to be on the ceiling.

  He preferred to sit that way whenever his parents weren’t home and thus couldn’t walk in on him. This was often, since his mother, Sylvia Bloom, was working on a new advertising campaign that had her putting in long hours in her office. His father, Steven Bloom, was focused on his own lab work as an astrophysicist, studying gravitational relationships between certain star systems.

  Now, Simon was deep into one of his favorite books, about children in the future training in zero-gravity for an alien war. One brilliant boy gets stuck with terrible responsibility and pressure, but he just wants to be a kid.

  Simon was distracted from his reading by a twisting sensation inside his stomach and his head. He wasn’t sure what it was, but it made him feel something strange was happening. Something he should be prepared for.

  He spoke a series of words that were complete gibberish to me; only a Keeper of the Book of Physics could understand them. Fortunately, Narrators can often read the surface thoughts of our Chronicle-subjects, so I knew he was using his second formula. This gave him control over friction, which he used to make the pages of his book stick in place: it worked much better than a bookmark. He then increased the book’s friction to make it adhere next to him on the ceiling. Now his hands were free, if needed.

  Simon looked up (down, really) and frowned at a blurry patch forming in the air above (er, beneath) him. Something was making a hole in the middle of his bedroom.

  The hole was accompanied by the jarring sound of air ripping. It was a noise Simon knew well; it was about as pleasant as taking a swarm of bees, teaching them how to use maracas and finger cymbals, and putting them inside your ears for a music recital.

  Simon’s frown turned to a smile as he saw who his visitor was. The Teacher’s Edition of Physics appeared, bursting out of the hole like a jack-in-the-box. Though it looked like an ordinary textbook, it was far more. It was a Book: one of those links to the endless power of the universe. It was also a dear friend of Simon’s.

  You see, Simon knew what every Keeper and Narrator did: the Books are more than just tomes filled with powerful formulas. They might not be alive, exactly, but they were aware. They could think. And, most importantly, they could act on their own. Simon Bloom found and was able to use the Book of Physics because it had chosen him.

  “Hello, Book,” Simon said aloud. He tried to be calm, but his heart started beating faster. He hadn’t seen the Book on its own since it was returned to its previous owner, Ralfagon Wintrofline. Ralfagon, the Keeper and leader of the Order of Physics, was careful to keep the Book by his side.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked it. “Is Ralfagon okay?”

  The Book ignored his questions and floated over to him. Simon took hold of it in one hand (despite being the size of a huge textbook, the Book weighed about the same as a small paperback). He stroked its spine, and it glowed bright blue and vibrated in response. The scene was rather like a boy and his pet dog, although this dog was blue, hairless, rectangular, and could destroy the universe. Plus, it was house-trained.

  You must get ready, Keeper, it said, using the mental link they’d developed.

  “Ready for what?” If Simon’s heart was racing before, it was sprinting now.

  Ready for the end of things as you know it. For the next stage. And all the dangers that will bring.

  What? Simon thought back to it. What do you mean?

  Once again, the Book ignored hi
s question. Make sure Owen Walters and Alysha Davis are prepared, too. It made a mental noise that was surely the Book version of a sigh. The end is coming. You must make sure there will be a new beginning.

  The Book hovered silently for a moment more and then vanished with a noisy tearing of air and a poof. Simon stared with confusion and more than a little fear at the space the Book had been occupying. What had it meant? End? Next stage? Dangers? He remembered well the problems his friends and he had faced when he first found the Book. Some were a lot of fun, but some had been of the almost-certain-doom variety.

  Simon glanced at his clock. Though it was upside down to him, the big, red digital numbers were easy to read. He was late!

  I have to figure this out, Simon thought. But I’ve also got to go.

  Simon stood up on the ceiling, bringing his head a few feet closer to his bed. He jumped, twisted in midair, and shifted his personal gravity back to normal. Suddenly the ground was his ground again. Simon landed feetfirst on his bed and bounced to the floor. After gathering a few items into his backpack, he went to his window.

  He was halfway outside when he remembered the book he’d been reading; it was on the ceiling, still stuck by friction. With a snap of his fingers, Simon made the book drop down to his bed; it remained open to the right page.

  Simon hopped outside his second-floor bedroom window, using his friction control to let him scramble up the side of his house like a much shorter, less-colorfully-dressed Spider-Man. He climbed onto the roof and glanced at the trees in his backyard. The beautiful autumn leaves were turning from lush green to vibrant reds, oranges, and yellows. They also hid him from neighbors or passersby who might glance up.